Its is OK to feel anxious..at times. It really is.

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Life is life, which means we get to experience all the feelings that go with living. Amazingly this is OK. To try and not feel a feeling is the equivalent to going on a Roller-coaster and asking the man to only send you on the flat bits. The real problem is when we try to stop experiencing these feeling, as if we should never feel them, as if life shouldn't be this way. Our world gets smaller. The important thing to remember is that Just because you feel a feeling, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong. It just means you are experiencing your thinking in that moment in time.

Burning the clutch

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Imagine that every time you get into your car and drive, you get this horrible smell. You try everything to try to get rid of it. You drive with the windows open, you spray strong air freshener. You hang up an air freshener, You hoover it out and wash down the seats..... Nothing works... In the end you bring it into the garage. The mechanic takes one whiff and says " You are burning the clutch. You are leaving your foot on the clutch as you are driving." He tells you that "if you take your foot off the clutch and only use it when you need it, the smell will go" but "If you keep on doing it, it will cause a lot of damage"

Now you can do something about it. Up until now you didn't know what was causing the problem so you couldn't fix it.

This problem started when you were learning to drive. We all know how scary it is, you have two feet and three pedals. It feels safe or comforting to leave you foot on the pedal, at least you know were it is. It feels like a solution in the beginning but soon becomes a problem.

When we are younger, we take on different beliefs and make decisions that seem to work at the time or they may even work at the time. We develop certain strategies to cope with different experiences and events. We may stay away from certain places, Objects, events. In the belief that we cant handle them. We may develop fears or anxieties. These become the "smell" We try lots of different solutions, Maybe Food, Alcohol, Drugs (Legal or Illegal), or simply behaviors. All of these temporary solutions are burning the clutch. We are so much safer in life now than when we were learning "To drive" We don't need to keep our foot on the clutch. We can drive now. Stop with the "Air fresheners" Trust in what you know NOW, as the adult you are. Keep your mind open to everything and don't attach it to anything. Amaze yourself with your ability to experience life.

Becoming an observer of your thinking.

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When you begin to see thinking as thinking and not reality, you will begin to see that, thinking is no more than an illusion. You can begin to remove yourself from the thought. You recognise that just because you had a thought, it doesn't make it true. It is just a thought. You will become the observer of the thought. You don't have to stop the negative thoughts. You just have to begin to let them pass by.

What has a golf ball got to do with a thought.→

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When I was a kid, myself and a few friends regularly "found" some golf balls...(On a golf course...)which we would clean up and try to sell them to the golfers. When the golfers wouldn't buy them back, We decided the best thing to do with them was cut them open and see what they were made of. As soon as we cut into them they quickly began to unravel. What was a small object would grow and grow. It turned into a big mess of elastic. With a tiny little bag (of glue) in the middle which is used to start the raveling process, I assume. For some reason, lately, this has been on my mind, I got to thinking about how , if I was to throw a golf ball at a pane of glass, or at someones face, it would do a lot of damage. It would break the glass or even break someone's cheekbone. If I cut into the very same golf ball and let it unravel and threw it at a pane of glass or someones face it would have no impact at all. It would slide down the glass, of may even tickle someones face.

I think limited thoughts and beliefs are the same. The thought is like the tiny bag of glue. The belief in the thought is the elastic that gets wound around and around. so much so that we cannot even see the tiny bag (original thought) and time is the hard cover that keeps it all together. When these three components come together, They are a force to be reckoned with.. It can travel a long way and can cause a lot of damage.

It might be time to cut into some of those old golf balls again.

 

 

Can you ever stop a thought.→

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Imagine you are standing on the side of a running track. Its One mile long and you are standing right on the half mile mark. Off in the distance a runner starts to run. You are totally unaware that he or she has begun. They get to the quarter of a mile mark, You are becoming aware that they are there. You begin to see them. As they get closer to the half mile mark you are noticing more and more of their features. Now they are at the half mile mark. Right in front of you. He, She is not the runner you want to win. You jump out in front of them. You try to stop them from going any further. You hold them up.  Another runner is passing,   This distracts you. You look away. The runner you were stopping get past and continues running. They get to the three quarters mark, They begin to fade out of sight. On they go over the mile mark and they are gone. The next runner starts to run. You are not aware they have started. You begin to see them as they approach the quarter of a mile mark. As they pass you let them go. Before you know it they are fading into the distance. They are gone from sight. They are gone....

They shouldn't worry...Thats my job.

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Watching a programme on TV the other night. There was an overweight woman and her Twenty something year old overweight daughter having a conversation. The daughter is asking the mother. "How are your blood sugars ?"  "They're fine" "What are they"? They're thirteen". "That's way too high" Next it shows the Mother on her own, she says "Sometimes they can go as high as twenty four. I don't tell her that. I don't want her to worry. That's my job, I'm the mother.

They shouldn't worry. I'm the parent, I'm the boss, I'm the man. Its my job to worry.

Its nobody's Job to worry. Worry is optional. Just because we worry it doesn't mean they wont worry. They may very well decide to worry as well.  Just because we worry and they worry it doesn't make the problem less. To worry is a choice we make.                                                              I love this one...

For every ailment under the sun, There is a remedy or there is none. If there be one,try to find it. If there be none never mind it. Mother Goose

Successful people don't worry.

Live life in day tight compartments. Live from now until bedtime. Everyday is a new life to the wise man. Sir William Osler
When I cant handle events, I let them handle themselves. Henry Ford

 

 

Are you studying the wrong language?

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Imagine that you are going to go and live in, let's say Spain in twelve months time. So you would need to learn to speak Spanish. You go to the local college and sign up for Spanish lessons. Then you go to the bookshop, into the language section for beginners and buy all the beginners for German books you can find. You go home and over the next few months you study them, you read up on German culture, the best areas to visit in Germany etc.

Then in twelve months time you arrive, lock, stock and barrel..... in Spain..... How good are you going to be at Spanish?. How much will you know about the culture? Where to visit?

You would be excellent at German. But that's not much use to you. How much do you want success in your life? I don't just mean money, How much do you want peace of mind? 

When things don't appear to be working as you wish, take a step back and have a think about what you are focusing on. What you are studying? You may just be studying the wrong language.

If you are studying lack and fear you may be getting very good at creating lack and fear.

Why we should allow feelings to change

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If it is true, and it is, that we all create our own reality then we may think we are in touch with the real world, however we are really only in touch with our own thoughts about the real world.  Doesn't that then mean that every experience we think we have experienced, we have really only experienced our own thoughts about that experience.

If how we thought about it at that time has changed. Because now we know more. Does that mean we can allow the feeling to change too. I think we can, once we realise that we are creating the feeling with our thinking . The ego may not like this but we should learn to stop taking the ego too seriously. It is after all how we saw ourselves and our world back then.

Getting on the right bus

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Imagine that you are waiting for a bus to get you to where you want to go. Home, for example. While you are waiting, a lot of other buses going to other destinations pass by. Imagine standing out in the middle of the road and stopping all of these buses and telling the drivers that these are not the buses you want. You want the one that gets you to home. This sounds like a ridiculous thing to do.

Imagine when thoughts are going through your mind. You are looking for the ones that make you feel good. Stop stopping the ones that you don't want. Let them pass. 

Becoming conscious of your moods (Mental Health)

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Our mental health changes throughout the day. It does this as our thoughts change. Becoming conscious of your moods (mental health) throughout the day will help you to decide what to believe about your thinking. Being aware that the lower the mood we find ourselves in, the more we tend to believe our thoughts. Our thinking becomes absolute. If for whatever reason we think we are useless, just not good enough, can't get anything right....We believe this thinking. Because the thinker thinks and the prover proves our mind goes out to prove our thinking and will create the circumstances to bring into reality whatever it is we are thinking. Whatever we focus on.

It's as simple as this. If a person thinks the world is a dangerous place, they will only ever see the dangers in the world. They will unconsciously prove this to themselves by paying attention to every shred of negative news they see or hear.

If a person thinks the world is a good place to be, they will prove this by unconsciously focusing on the positives in the  people they meet and in every circumstance they find themselves in.

 Of course there are times in our life when we feel low for one reason or another. When I recognise I am in a low mood I make a decision not to automatically believe my thinking and not to make any big decisions about myself.

 

Ego. He is my own little self, Oh Lord

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I walked out alone on my way to my tryst

but who is this me in the dark

I step aside to avoid his presence

but I escape him not

He makes the dust rise from the earth with his swagger

He adds his loud voice to every word I utter

He is my own little self oh Lord

He knows no shame

But I, I am ashamed to come to thy door in his company

                                                                                           Rabing Narash Nagore

Coming to your senses. A powerful tool

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Have you ever had someone tell you to "Come to your senses"? If you have, it's usually in quite a dismissive way. It's usually when someone thinks you are making a fuss about nothing or they think you are being a bit dramatic. Have you ever actually come to your senses? It's a very powerful thing to do. When you come to your senses, you simply come into your Present. You can only see, hear and feel what is happening right now around you. You cannot see what you saw five minutes ago or hear what you heard five minutes ago. You may have memories of those things but they are already in the past.  When you are in your present, there is always a sense of space or some call it nothingness. Your thoughts are right here in this moment and not rambling off to the past and future.

Do this as an exercise now. You don't have to be in a certain place or a certain state of mind to benefit from this. You could be....driving the car, walking down the street, watching the television.. (Not all together I hope).

For a moment. Come to your senses now..... only focus on the senses you are using. Think only about what you are seeing, hearing, etc. give them all your attention. Know in your mind that this is all that is happening in your life in this moment.

Then notice the feeling in your body. Notice the stillness in your mind. This simple exercise is a fantastic way to break free of the ego centred insecure thinking that has been conditioned into our minds.

  

How the ego can fool us into believing we are not good enough

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As we are aware a self opinionated or arrogant person is someone who is really not interested in what you have to say. They are only really interested in their own opinion. If you try to argue with them they will defend their point of view to the end. Usually you become aware of this and stop arguing back. It's pointless you think. You most likely avoid that person if you can and you try not to get into a discussion with this person. If you have to talk with them you try to keep the conversation on the light side or keep it to the point.

Now try to think of that really self opinionated person in your life. The most self opinionated person that you know. Say their name out loud now. What do you do with that person? Ignore them? Take them with a pinch of salt? Avoid them.

That person is the equivalent of your ego! It has no interest in you. It is only interested in creating chaos in your life with insecurity, criticism, fear and regret. This is how it get's to feel important.

But you haven't been ignoring it. You have been believing it, apologising to it, agreeing with it.

It constantly takes you off into the past to see how you could have done things better. Or off into the future with fear and anxiety.

Stop giving it so much time. Stop taking it so seriously. You will never please it. It will constantly raise the bar. It's not interested in your success or happiness. It survives in the chaos it creates. The only reason we can have an ego is because we are capable of thinking that we are not good enough.

Stuck in a reality that doesn't work for you

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The mind only knows it's own point of view. It never goes outside of itself. Unaware of how our present is contaminated by our past, this point of view goes unchallenged and the mind considers it to be completely true . Human beings who are unaware of this tend to live their lives believing that they are victims of circumstance. Constantly trying to change those circumstances. They are not aware that they are creating these experiences. They use the same thought process to attempt to change them as they use to create them. They think that because they thought something it must be true. They are stuck in a reality that they have created. A reality that works perfectly well to the belief they hold, but a reality doesn't work for them in life.